The Best Day
by The Calendar Girl
Summary: Musings of Hotaru's childhood. Lyrics by Taylor Swift.
1. Firefly

_I'm five years old, it's getting cold, I've got my big coat on_

_I hear your laugh and look up smiling at you, I run and run_

_Past the pumpkin patch and the tractor rides, look now, the sky is gold,_

_I hug your legs and fall asleep on the way home_

_XxX_

Today was the day we would pick out the family's pumpkin. My little legs carried me around the field, tottering to and fro in search of the perfect gourd to carve. Occasionally I'd fall, the frost grass melting a bit and soaking my pants a bit more with each meeting. Giving up on finding my pumpkin, I decided I needed a break.

I sulked to the hay bales and sat down, pulling myself up with my arms, then situating myself while making as little noise as possible. After a few seconds of resting my head in my hands, suffering silently for my art, a bug moved in front of me. Not any a bug, but a bug whose butt was glowing. I was fascinated. I jolted off of the hay and tumbled, head over heels, turning my mistake into a summersault. I stood up and clapped my hands, turning my mistake into a trick and letting the cold air sting my lungs as I inhaled, then ran, the best I could, for the light.

"Be careful!" My papa chuckled. I lost track of my bug and walked towards my father. His face was bright, gleaming with pride as he watched me. He held out his arms, ushering me to jump into then. When I arrived he lifted me up, gently tossing me upwards. I squealed in delight, my papa was and still is the best ride in the whole wide world.

"Glowbug?" I asked quietly, pointing in the direction of the flying bug.

"It's a firefly."

"Firefly." I repeated the word giggling. "Firefly!" I chanted the word for a few minutes, still in his arms, bouncing.

"I'll race you Hotaru!" Never race my father; he is simply too fast, but I didn't know this, so just as soon as my feet crunched on the ground, I sprinted. I watched as all of the imperfect pumpkins were out of view. My ears picked up sounds of feet behind me and tried to run faster. Instead I fell.

Grass filled my mouth, mixing with a bit of dirt. Instantly my papa picked me up and gave me butterfly kisses. Our noses touched ever so lightly and his golden hair swayed back and forth. My knee may have been bleeding, and I may have lost the race and lost track of my firefly, but my papa was there to make it better.

"Are you going to be okay firefly?"

"Firefly?" I smiled, eyes shifting back and forth, looking for the flitting bug.

"You're my firefly." He picked me up and we walked toward his car, tapping me on the nose ever so casually. I didn't think I gleamed in the night, or flew so gracefully, but somethings don't make sense at first.

Mama was going to be mad that we didn't get a pumpkin, but that didn't matter. All that mattered was me being a firefly, and I dreamt of the adventures I'd have in the backseat of the car. I faintly recall the feeling of a hand running through my hair as I slept.

I woke the next morning, pillows fluffed, blankets around me, in my bed.


	2. Milkshake

_I don't know why all the trees change in the fall,_

_I know your not scared at anything at all,_

_Don't know if Snow Whites house is near or far away_

_But I know I had the best day with you today_

XxX

"Hotaru, change into Sailor Saturn! Hurry up!" Our princess shouted as she was being held up by a giant bicycle, with mutated arms, that threw tires at the rest of the scouts, successfully binding them to a tree. It was just me and my papa. I was shaking in my kiddy dress up shoes, fingering my princess dress's hem, and chewing on my Disney necklace, eating a decal accidentally.

"We practiced this, remember? You hit Setsuna with a rock, remember?" I trembled, sniffing up my tears, sucking up my fear through my nose.

"I'm scared!" I wailed, my fear escaping in the form of water through my eyes. After watching the monster smash a car, I collapsed on my knees, hiding my head in my dress. A second of crying later, I felt a warm hand on my shoulder. A bit later that hand was picking me up by my armpits, and bouncing me into the air. It was my papa holding me, cheering me up with the old spaceship game that mama made us stop, because "seven is too old to be playing that kind of game with her Haruka!" He set me on the ground and hugged me, letting me bury myself in his chest, enveloping me in his smell.

"You can do this, I believe in you." With that I sucked up my fear again, this time not letting it leak back out through my eyes, and took out my transformation pen. On autopilot I mumbled into my transformation. I kept hearing my fathers encouragement as I left my body, so to speak.

After changing into my sailor grab, something hit me, I didn't know any sort of move. I clutched my glaive and swung it around in a circle, as if it was a baton. Setsuna's face paled. She started screaming at me to stop playing with my weapon, I was so startled I almost dropped it, but Papa caught it, his sailor skirt flowing in the wind as he fell over himself to catch it. He looked like he was about to have a heart attack, as did the other scouts. It wasn't even their weapon, what did they care?

He handed it back to me, firmly placing it in my hand. The monster was wrecking havoc on the neighborhood stray dog. I ran over to the other scouts and used my glaive to cut through the tire, freeing them in the process. Setsuna gave me a stern look at told me to power down before I destroyed the universe. After cursing her silently for being a meanie, I walked to the other side of the lot.

I was back in my dress-up clothes when Tuxedo Mask showed, stunning the monster who was still chasing the dog, and giving Sailor Moon her chance to seal it away forever, or that's what Mama told me happened to the monsters when I cried about one under my bed at night.

They all went to congratulate Sailor Moon after a good battle when I sat down on the grass, chasing a lady bug with my hand. They were completely ignoring me as I let her crawl on my finger. While they were giggling about whatever Tuxedo Mask just said, the ladybg was running in the creases of my hand. For a moment I contemplated balling up my fist and killing the bug, what did it matter, it was just a bug after all.

I was still the enemy, the bad guy, I understood this, so I just sat with my bug and smiled. I had a friend which I had made by not killing her, and when people weren't watching my father loved me very much. He was my best friend in the whole world, when the world wasn't there.

I watched as the scouts left to go to the Crown, I bet to go get ice-cream. My mama sulked over toward me on the grass, plopping down next to me. "Why are you here?" I smoothed my dress and looked the other way to hide my hurt. Mama never liked to spend time with me.

"Someone has to take you to the house." I sighed, I secretly wished that she had asked me to go get ice-cream with everyone else. She looked really upset that she had to leave her friends. Mama and Papa weren't that old, Mama was seventeen, Papa too, and most of the time Mama just wanted to see her friends.

"I can walk home by myself. I know where it is at." I smiled towards her, watching my ladybug crawl on my knuckles.

"Are you sure?" I nodded vigorously, enjoying the feeling of my hair whooshing around my face.

Mama laughed and waved goodbye as she ran to catch up with the other girls, and somewhat dejectedly I walked towards the house. I stopped at stoplights, looked both ways, and tried to read the street signs, like a good little girl, but still something was off.

Once I stopped seeing bus stops, I realized I was lost. I sat down on a bench, dangling my dress-up shoes above the ground, swinging them back and forth. After hundred clouds passed in front of the sun, which was my new method of time, I laid down to take a nap. Tucking my knees under my chin, I let myself go to sleep. I awoke one bad dream later to a person sitting on the other side of the bench. I rubbed my eyes and saw my papa.

I hopped onto his lap and hugged him crying. "I'm sorry, I'm not a good fighter, I'm sorry." He rubbed my back and hoisted me onto his shoulders. We walked around the town, I was pretending I was an airplane. Occasionally Papa would get a burst of speed, and he'd scream jet boost, or he'd wiggle around and shout turbulence.

"All passengers are free to exit the plane." He faked a female flight attendants voice surprisingly well. I departed the air craft and looked towards the neon sign.

"What's that word?" I questioned. My reading needed a lot of work, I'd never find my way home if I couldn't read anything bigger than a four letter word.

"That says 'Crown.'" I gasped. This place must be magic.

The Crown was a place I had only heard about in passing, only big girls were allowed into the Crown, so being allowed in was a huge deal to me. My eyes were opened wide as I absorbed all the sights and sounds. The clinking of the games, the frying sizzle of the food, and the bright lights from the show on the big TV. The arcade was nearly empty, the clock said it was ten o'clock at night, and cloud counting became irrelevent once you entered a building.

"Haruka, what are you doing here?" Papa tugged on my hand and lifted me up to a stool by the bar.

"This little lady would like a milkshake." I smiled as Papa talked to the man behind the counter.

"What kind do you want?" He turned to me, smiled and patted my shoulder.

"What's a milkshake?" I stammered, looking at the diamond tile pattern on the counter.

"This is an emergency! I'll get you a chocolate milkshake, stat!" The man ran into the kitchen and a minute or so later returned with a drink. The drink wasn't nearly as impressive as the ornamentation. The design of the cup was covered in painted happy faces and confetti, and sunk into the shake was a single sparkler, exploding miniature fireworks into the air around the cup extremly happy glass. I blew out the sparkler, giggling as the nice man took out the remaining stem, replacing it with a swirl straw that had a little plastic monkey that traveled around the loop.

I sipped for an hour, real world time, at my dairy delight, listening to Papa talk to the man about the races. Papa kept stealling finger tastes of my shake, but that didn't really bother me. But when we got home and Mama tried to take my straw and special cup, I threw a fit. I told her it reminded me of how much Papa loved me, and for a week, out of fear, I slept with the unwashed cup with the sticky straw, therefor saving it from Mama's waste basket.


	3. Tears

_I'm thirteen now, and don't know how my friends can be so mean_

_I come home crying and you hold me tight and grab the keys_

XxX

"Papa! Papa!" I ran into the door screaming, tears streaming down my face.

"What's up firefly?" He strolled into the foyer in his bathrobe, which was secured tightly around the waist and chest. His hair wasn't combed, so it hung around his face limply, almost covering his eyes.

"They said mean things about you and Mama!" They were awful things, things I didn't even understand fully, but from the way they snickered they must have been the worst things you could say. None of the kids in the school preferred my company, I was "weird." They called me weird, even the kid who ate worms called me weird. I was the very bottom of the food chain.

"What did they say?" He shook his hair, water droplets littering the ground, mixing with my tears, which feel and exploded on the wood floor like bombs.

"They said you were a lesbian! I don't even know what that means, but they were so mean. They even pushed me, and told me I couldn't stand next to them in the looker room!" Mama poked her head through the door way, from the kitchen where she was snacking on a bag of pretzels, and laughed. She howled with laughter.

I knew Mama was mean, but I never thought she would be so cruel, laughing at my pain. "You didn't realize this before, Tomoe? Ever notice how our last names are different. You sure are dense!" She snickered at the end, then continued to indulge in her pretzels.

"What is Mama talking about? I don't understand." Papa ushered me into the living room, his hand wrapped around my shoulder, trying to comfort me. We plopped down on the couch, and as I rested on his lap, he began to speak.

"You've learned of the birds and the bees, correct?" I blushed and nodded quickly. I did not want to sent through Papa's threats to boys again. "Well you know how it takes a bird and a bee, well your mama and I are both bees, so to speak." My eyes shot open in alarm.

"Mama is a boy!" Papa laughed as Mama ran into the room after my shouting. She pouted in front of the fireplace, arms crossed in front of her chest. For a boy, her chest sure is swollen.

"I am no such thing!" Her lips were pursed as she spat the words at me. She opened her mouth to say something, but Papa quickly stopped her.

"You shall say nothing on this matter! I love you, but you do not love Hotaru, you have made that abundantly clear! I've worked past that, and I stayed by your side, but now, now I need you to stop so I can talk to my daughter. She is traumatized, confused, and you will not mess this up as you have in previous situations."

"Haruka, what has come over you darling? You've changed!" Mama screamed and stomped up the stairs.

"And you haven't changed at all, you've remained the same fifteen year old I met twelve years ago." He said in a normal voice, soft enough that only I could hear him.

"Papa, I'm thirteen. You've only known Mama for twelve years?" I inhaled sharply, counted to ten then exhaled slowly.

"Don't call her your mother, she's not, her name is Michiru." Who's my mother then?

"Are you Papa still?" I questioned quietly, sniffling.

"About that, Firefly; Michiru isn't a boy, I'm a girl." She refused to look me in the eye as she said this. Feeling the awkwardness of this situation, I wiggled off his, well her, lap.

"Um, Haruka, I'm going to my room." She stood up and ran towards me. For a second I was frozen, letting the situation get the best of me. I felt a tear run down my cheek, my parents were not my parents. Did I even have parents? The flood gates broke as I fell to the cold hard floor, and I cried. It wasn't a stub your toe kind of cry, it was a your parents are dead cry. My whole childhood was a lie, all of it, the good and the bad, which I could have taken solace in, but I didn't. My life is a lie, I was living a lie.

Warmness enveloped me in my downtrodden state. I was lifted from the ground and carried out the door. I nuzzled into the chest in front of me, realizing it was plush like that of a woman. Papa was really a girl, making Michiru a lesbian, but I who was I?


End file.
